The Pashupati Connection (I)

...my journey towards Shiva

I prayed to God because it was all I could do.

All my dreams had been realised, all sensual experiences had been saturated, all fantasies exposed.

I had nothing left.

I was surrounded by concussed wanderers, unconsciously searching but not seeking.

One lonely night, racked with existential pain, I visualised being in a row boat, out to sea, riding rugged waves and taking in water. I raised the white flag and prayed “If you’re there God, please help me. I am lost.”

The moment hung in time. My feeling of desperation instantly abated.

Little did I know I had taken the first step into a rabbit hole that 30+ years later still fascinates and holds me in a way that nothing else can.

That rabbit hole is often called…. Shiva.